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A day in the life…

Posted by Michael Martinez on April 18, 2008 in General

Wake up.

Check the rankings. Spam doing good. Have breakfast.

Hit the train. Walk to office and ignore co-workers trying to socialize.

Check the rankings. Spam doing good. Have a snack.

Go to meeting. Production off schedule because of last-minute changes I said I would not make the day before. Make more last-minute changes to further disrupt production schedule.

Check the rankings. Spam doing good. Have a Diet Coke.

Create spam. Upload spam. Realize the spam pages have broken links. Roll eyes.

Go to meeting. Client in an uproar because rankings look the same. Change production schedule to please client despite the fact changes in production will have no effect on rankings for at least a month.

Eat chocolate. Check the rankings. Rankings look funny. Register the spam with search engines. Remember the links are broken. Eat more chocolate.

Bounce off walls. Eat lunch. Rebuild spam. Check the rankingsrankingslookgoodandthechocolateisreallykickingin.

Drink tea. Caffeine from tea and Diet Coke is GOOD. Check the rankings. Haven’t changed in five minutes but they still look funny.

Receive visitor. Smile, shake hands, nod head gratuitously, explain politely that, “No, we’re not hiring any more theorists right now but we’ll be glad to keep your resume with no experience on file….”

Crash. Eat chocolate to come back up from sugar crash. Drink diet coke and tea to come back up from caffeine crash.

Check rankings. Remember the spam links are broken and the sitemaps have been submitted to the search engines.

Check on production team. Another miracle save in the works but half their projects are on hold. Eat chocolate, bounce of wall, read some SEO blogs to relax.

Check rankings. Everyone in an uproar because rankings are tanking. Call impromptu meeting and open with, “S*** happens.” Take phone call from senior executive who says client wants immediate results. Make last minute changes to production schedule.

Remember that the spam links are broken, that the spam sites have been uploaded and registered, and the search engines have fetched the sitemaps.

Slam the office door shut. Eat a snack. Rebuild the spam.

Someone comes in to ask why the BIG PROJECT is not being worked on (because we’ve changed the priorities to please the unhappy clients who think rankings should change by the hour when rankings don’t change that quickly).

Check the rankings to prove point. Rankings back to morning pristine appearance. Impromptu meeting ends.

Someone else walks in and says, “We have a new client. They want to see rankings improvements in two weeks.”

Look at clock. Train time almost there. Fix the spam, upload the fixed spam, check the rankings. Rankings have tanked.

Call impromptu meeting with production team, make last minute changes in production schedule to anticipate client and executive screaming and yelling so that we can honestly say we are working on it.

Get on train.

Go home.

Check rankings.

Nothing changed.

Drink Diet Coke, eat a cookie, watch a movie.

Go to bed.

Wake up. Check the rankings. Things look funny.

Go back to bed.

Alarm goes off….